June 23rd
Jet's mother was in the hospital from the day before we met, 06.06.08, until 06.23.08.
I would occasionally meet him up there because he was there an awful lot. I normally wouldn't have met his family that soon, being so new and all, but they were all so welcoming and sincere.
There was one day where he and I were sitting on her hospital bed, while she was unconscious of course, and I just hugged him because he just needed it. His back was to her, while I was facing her, and, I know she was on morphine and whatever else they put her on, but there was a moment where it appeared like her eyes were somewhat open, and tears were streaming down, but ever so slowly. My heart felt like it stopped like I was in shock, I could barely get the words out, but I told Jet to turn around because I thought I was witnessing her actually waking up. Later, I was told it was probably just all the drugs she was on, and she probably wasn't really awake or conscious. I don't know what I believe when it comes to that.
Jet has an older sister, Jennifer, who made a point to meet me during one of my visits. "So, you're the new girlfriend, huh," was her first words to me, which made it less awkward. Both Jet and Jennifer have an interesting sense of humor, and, it took time to adjust because it can be very dark sometimes, and I wasn't really used to that until I got around them. His aunts, uncle, dad, stepmom, and other friends would stop by to give their prayers and hopes that his mother would be okay, and, I just kept my place in the corner seeing how many people loved his mom. I got to hear so many stories about the trouble she got in, good and bad.
The evening of June 23rd, 2008, Jennifer, and her husband, Richard, decided to run and get some cigarettes because they were going to stay the night. That left Jet and I alone in the room together with his mom. His mom had sleep apnea, so she would quite often take in these deep breaths, and hold it, unconscious or not, and, it would scare Jet and I thinking that she had taken her last breath. One time she did it, she held her breath for what seemed like eternity, and, Jet just looked over at me in fear, as if he were a little boy again, scared of losing his mommy. I'm not at all making fun of him, but that's a look of fear and pain that I will never be able to unsee and erase from my memory. When she finally exhaled, he let out a little laugh, with tears, and a huge sigh saying "Mom, now don't do that again."
It seemed when his sister and brother-in-law left, things deteriorated quickly. Jet was the baby of the family, and, him and his mom had a special bond, and I truly believe she waited until he was the only one in the room (besides me of course). She did end up passing away, and, when Jet could tell there wasn't much time left, he kept calling Jennifer and Richard, but couldn't get through. Apparently, it was at that moment they were on elevators and in the parking deck, and, he couldn't get through until after everything happened. Timing sometimes is everything. He lost it. I'm glad I was there for him, but, I know Jennifer wanted to be there too, and to share that moment, but even after all of these years, everyone in his family, even his sister, are thankful I was there with him, and he wasn't alone to experience that.
17 days isn't long to be dating someone to know how to deal with this, but I handled it profoundly well. I didn't cry, but I wanted to, for him. And, I'm glad his family had and still does have a profound amount of respect for me for being there, and how I handled everything.
Jet came home with me that night. His sister approved of me, and, he made the choice to go home with me versus going home to his parents. One of the reasons was he wanted time away from his family because all they would want to talk about was his mom, her mistakes, how she lived her life, and what she could've done different to not have her life end so soon, etc.
Even though they expected this result, no one is ever quite prepared for when it actually happens. Talk about intensifying everything between us. That moment and event has bonded us ever since.
Every June 23rd, it still affects me. The first anniversary of her death, Jet and I were still together, and living together, and, even though I hadn't met his mom, besides seeing her in the hospital, I had a dream of her. The strange thing is, when I told Jet about the dream, and describing where the dream took place, a place I'd never seen before in person or in pictures, or been told about, he was in shock because the exact place I was seeing in my dream sounded just like her house. He was also jealous that I was dreaming of her, and he wasn't. I took it somewhat like she was sending her approval to me, if that makes sense. You may not believe in that type of stuff, but I took it as a good sign.
I would occasionally meet him up there because he was there an awful lot. I normally wouldn't have met his family that soon, being so new and all, but they were all so welcoming and sincere.
There was one day where he and I were sitting on her hospital bed, while she was unconscious of course, and I just hugged him because he just needed it. His back was to her, while I was facing her, and, I know she was on morphine and whatever else they put her on, but there was a moment where it appeared like her eyes were somewhat open, and tears were streaming down, but ever so slowly. My heart felt like it stopped like I was in shock, I could barely get the words out, but I told Jet to turn around because I thought I was witnessing her actually waking up. Later, I was told it was probably just all the drugs she was on, and she probably wasn't really awake or conscious. I don't know what I believe when it comes to that.
Jet has an older sister, Jennifer, who made a point to meet me during one of my visits. "So, you're the new girlfriend, huh," was her first words to me, which made it less awkward. Both Jet and Jennifer have an interesting sense of humor, and, it took time to adjust because it can be very dark sometimes, and I wasn't really used to that until I got around them. His aunts, uncle, dad, stepmom, and other friends would stop by to give their prayers and hopes that his mother would be okay, and, I just kept my place in the corner seeing how many people loved his mom. I got to hear so many stories about the trouble she got in, good and bad.
The evening of June 23rd, 2008, Jennifer, and her husband, Richard, decided to run and get some cigarettes because they were going to stay the night. That left Jet and I alone in the room together with his mom. His mom had sleep apnea, so she would quite often take in these deep breaths, and hold it, unconscious or not, and, it would scare Jet and I thinking that she had taken her last breath. One time she did it, she held her breath for what seemed like eternity, and, Jet just looked over at me in fear, as if he were a little boy again, scared of losing his mommy. I'm not at all making fun of him, but that's a look of fear and pain that I will never be able to unsee and erase from my memory. When she finally exhaled, he let out a little laugh, with tears, and a huge sigh saying "Mom, now don't do that again."
It seemed when his sister and brother-in-law left, things deteriorated quickly. Jet was the baby of the family, and, him and his mom had a special bond, and I truly believe she waited until he was the only one in the room (besides me of course). She did end up passing away, and, when Jet could tell there wasn't much time left, he kept calling Jennifer and Richard, but couldn't get through. Apparently, it was at that moment they were on elevators and in the parking deck, and, he couldn't get through until after everything happened. Timing sometimes is everything. He lost it. I'm glad I was there for him, but, I know Jennifer wanted to be there too, and to share that moment, but even after all of these years, everyone in his family, even his sister, are thankful I was there with him, and he wasn't alone to experience that.
17 days isn't long to be dating someone to know how to deal with this, but I handled it profoundly well. I didn't cry, but I wanted to, for him. And, I'm glad his family had and still does have a profound amount of respect for me for being there, and how I handled everything.
Jet came home with me that night. His sister approved of me, and, he made the choice to go home with me versus going home to his parents. One of the reasons was he wanted time away from his family because all they would want to talk about was his mom, her mistakes, how she lived her life, and what she could've done different to not have her life end so soon, etc.
Even though they expected this result, no one is ever quite prepared for when it actually happens. Talk about intensifying everything between us. That moment and event has bonded us ever since.
Every June 23rd, it still affects me. The first anniversary of her death, Jet and I were still together, and living together, and, even though I hadn't met his mom, besides seeing her in the hospital, I had a dream of her. The strange thing is, when I told Jet about the dream, and describing where the dream took place, a place I'd never seen before in person or in pictures, or been told about, he was in shock because the exact place I was seeing in my dream sounded just like her house. He was also jealous that I was dreaming of her, and he wasn't. I took it somewhat like she was sending her approval to me, if that makes sense. You may not believe in that type of stuff, but I took it as a good sign.
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